Nimi kept reaching to wipe her face as Dapo and Lara stared at her after she had finished narrating what God wanted her to do. Lara who had been trying to console her now sat facing her, hands on her laps as she watched the drama scene playing before her. Dapo was unable to utter a word when she was done but she was certain she’d seen him blink back tears.
Oh God…don’t you see how we love each other, why are you doing this to us…I’m tempted to think you pulled a joke on us when you asked us to come together…
Lara suddenly jerked from her seat. “Bro Dapo, are you just going to sit down there and let her narrate something some invisible being must have told her? Won’t you do something for the woman you love? Won’t you fight for her?”
“Lara…” Dapo tried to caution her but his voice broke.
“No…, why does your God break people’s hearts?” She cried with tears strolling down her cheeks and Nimi could only shed more tears. “Why does he let this happen if he’s the one that brought you together. I see how you two love each other and I’ve been praying for something like what you two have. You said he’s a God of love…, I’m seeing something entirely different here.”
“Lara please…” Nimi pleaded.
“No, it’s either you tell me you were hallucinating and you two get together and make up right now or count me out of your bullshit of a gospel.”
“God is good and he has our best interest at heart.” Dapo tried to console his sister but she wasn’t having any of it. She snapped irritated. “I can’t even believe I allowed you into my home and into my life Nimi. I can’t believe I allowed you stay and tell me about a God who loves me when all I can see is entirely not love. It’s heart wrenching and horrible. I can’t imagine I even prayed to let him work out myself and IK. If he can do this to you who has been nothing but good and kind to me, then maybe he’s just what the media calls him.”
Nimi shook her head and tried to reach for her but she jerked free.
“Don’t touch me.”
She moved back staring at Dapo and Nimi and shaking her head. “I want you out of my life, out of my home. I want you to leave before my mum comes and you give her a heart attack.”
And she ran upstairs.
Dapo raised his head staring at her and she wished she could reach out to him too. She saw his eyes and what she saw wasn’t friendly.
“You actually think I’m doing this on purpose?”
“What the hell am I supposed to think Nimi!” He shook his head. “We talked about this, but you keep insisting God is telling you to leave. Well why hasn’t he told me anything? Are you calling God a liar? Instead of you to just say you want out of the relationship but you keep bringing God into all of it.”
Her heart broke. Father, why haven’t you revealed this to him?
You have become his idol
How?
He won’t see anything because you are the only thing he wants to see.
She went to him and knelt before him wanting to plead with him. She saw him struggling with his feelings but she reached for his hands and held tight.
“Dapo, please look at me…”
He refused to.
“Baby please look at me.”
He finally looked into her face but before Nimi could say anything further, he pulled her into his arms and crushed his lips on hers and she could only melt in his arms after struggling for a while. He brought back so many memories and she clung to him wishing the past few hours had only been but a dream. This was how she wanted to be claimed and loved. By this man alone who made her feel like a woman and capable of turning her into mush which he could soften the way he wanted and how he wanted.
When he broke free, she was gasping for air.
“Don’t you see how I make you feel baby? And you want to let this go…” His lips travelled to her chin nibbling on her neck till she realized he was fondling with her buttons while his hands travelled all over her body. “If you think I won’t treat you right, let me get one chance to prove it to you…”
“Dapo stop” She grew scared when she saw that something else had taken over and he wasn’t thinking straight. This wasn’t the man she’d spent months loving and smiling with. She could see desire burning in his eyes and that was when she realised God was right.
She had become his idol.
She reached for his hands and he came back to his senses. “I’m sorry…”
She shook her head when she saw how sober he looked. She blamed herself for allowing them get carried away the first time.
What have I unleashed?
He stood up immediately feeling embarrassed. “I have to go home. I can’t stay here anymore. One look at you and I’m either hating you or loving you.”
She watched him leave and was unable to stop him. Everything and everyone was happening in a daze and she didn’t know when she rose and headed for Lara’s bedroom. When she got there, she found Lara zipping a big bag. When the girl saw her, she gave her a smile that didn’t reach her heart and threw it at her.
“There you go, I’ll ask the driver to drop you at home.”
Nimi swallowed and reached to pick her bag wondering how the girl’s love had suddenly turned to hatred overnight. She was about to say something when she felt the spirit caution her and she dumbly went to pick her bag and smiled sadly at the girl as her heart broke.
“Will it change anything if I tell you I’ve given my life to Jesus? Cos I’m ready to do anything to make you stay.” She heard the girl beg and wondered if she really meant what she said. “It’s just to believe that Jesus is the Son of God and I’m a sinner right? I can do that…”
Nimi shook her head. Believing wasn’t a mental thought. It was only God who could convict her in such a way that her heart would believe and her mouth would confess. Lara was only trying to take a fast route which wasn’t even close to her salvation.
“It’s not a mental decision Lara…, you can’t come to God yourself. He has to be the One to bring you in.”
“ Then, I don’t want to see you in my house anymore except if you change your mind about my brother. But as long as you’re adamant on hurting us both, then goodbye to our friendship or whatever it is we had that you chose to throw away.”
Nimi didn’t look back as she closed the door behind her.
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Lara fell to the bed and sobbed soon after she heard the door close and Saheed drove her out of the compound. How could Nimi throw something so good away? How could she throw away two people that loved her to the moon and back. Didn’t she have feelings? She had thought she throwing her things to her would make her change her mind but she’d picked up her bag like a robot and left her like she was nothing.
Was this what God did? Make people miserable? Turn them to robots because of his ‘will’ of some sort? She’d seen the girl cry and want her brother. Not too long she’d sneaked to watch if Dapo would fight for his girl which he had done when he kissed her. She saw Nimi melt and was excited and so quickly excused them thinking passion would lead them to other things she would rather not watch. She was about turning back when she heard
‘Dapo stop.’
She turned and saw how her brother wrestled with his feelings before he stood up to leave. She’d never seen him look so wrecked before. Even when he found out about Aisha’s baby and her lies with Soji, he hadn’t looked this way.
How could you Nimi? How could you? Don’t you have a heart to see how you’re hurting my brother?
She saw the girl had a heart alright but her God was making her chose him over love. Fantasy over common sense. A man loved a woman and they were making it so complex. She had watched Nimi cry and that was when she searched for the next alternative.
Threaten her about leaving completely, maybe that would break her and let her reconsider.
She had done that only for Nimi to prove her wrong again.
She shouted to no one in particular as she sat up. “I don’t understand you God, but if you’re the one doing this to Nimi, I can never love you.”
Never!
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Dapo stepped out of the shower after he’d been there for a while as crazy thoughts ran through his mind. He didn’t know where to start from. No woman had ever broken him to pieces this way before. Right now, the last thing he wanted to do was even pray about it. Why was God doing this to them? Was he trying to achieve something through their break-up which he couldn’t achieve another way.
Or had she found someone else?
It wasn’t possible. He could see through Nimi’s eyes. She wasn’t cheating. He knew a woman who was cheating. She loved him, he could feel it when he kissed her, saw how she finally gave in before she started struggling again. He saw her swollen eyes and face. The beautiful girl whose eyes shone of love when she stared at him was gone. A woman filled with sorrow stared back at him and he wanted to yell at God.
Why are you doing this to her…, to us.
God wouldn’t do that. It had to be something else. He chose to believe it was something else other than God. He knew what he heard God tell him about her, all the times He came through for them when Jibola and Lara had stood in the way of their relationship, how his family had now finally accepted her it was like a miracle.
He would ask Tolani about it. Carry out a little investigation and see what was really going on. Was she even going to be in Lagos? Was the other guy in some other state? If he found out it was another guy, he prayed for strength not to beat the guy to pulp.
Nimi was his woman, no one else’s.
Nimi is mine
Dapo froze as those words came in like a sharp sword piercing his thoughts. He sank into the bed weak.
Nimi is mine first before anyone else’s.
It came again confirming what he had heard. His Spirit led him to pick his bible and when he opened it, it was 1Corinthians 10v22 where he had read this morning but had no clue it was in relation to his relationship with Nimi.
Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
He sighed inwardly and sank his hands into his head. “Oh dear Lord, I didn’t mean to. But you brought us together. I just couldn’t fathom you tearing us apart.”
You are mine before hers.
She knows this. We both know this.
Why did you run ahead of me?
How…
You stopped letting me lead the moment you proposed. You’ve always asked me before taking the next step. You let passion overtake my will.
But does that change anything?
This isn’t about you Dapo, the moment it starts becoming all about you two which you’ve turned this whole marriage into, that moment, my will and purpose takes a back seat.”
So what am I going to do now? How do you expect me to move on? The tears came and he reached to wipe it away.
No response.
He wanted to pray but couldn’t find the strength to do so. He chose to sleep instead. Right now, he was unsure of how he could handle what God was doing to both of them. He couldn’t say he was ready to let go or release her, but if that was what God wanted, he could have her.
Life would continue.
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“At least eat something…” Tolani pleaded with her sister who was picking the food she would normally have finished being it was bread and fried eggs she had made for breakfast. She’d heard her crying and praying last night before sleeping and then their mother though upset about the sudden news could not fathom what God was doing and why he was telling her to let go, but she knew he had their good intentions at heart and something good was going to come out of it.
He was a good God and his ways were good, irrespective of what her feelings or flesh wanted to make her feel.
“I’ve eaten na.” Nimi replied her sister trying to laugh but the sadness remained in her eyes.
“I don’t want Akin to eat this thing hence my insisting.” She laughed trying to cheer her sister up. “Besides, I want you to eat before you leave us in Lagos.”
“I still have one week madam.” She giggled. “Or you’re in a hurry to push me out of the house.”
“Haba…, I’m not. I just want you to stuff yourself up—“
There was a knock on the door disrupting their banter and Tolani stood up to answer the door. She was taken aback when she saw the woman standing at their door. It was scary to see her in real life. It felt like seeing the wife of the governor of lagos state standing before her.
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Nimi knew something was wrong when Tolani stood at the door for a while without saying anything. Even her mum had to ask,
“Who is at the door, is everything alright?”
They met their surprise when Mrs Olakitan strolled in looking around and Tolani quickly knelt to greet her.
“Good morning ma.”
“Good morning dear, how are you?” She smiled softly at the young girl
“Fine thank you ma.”
Nimi quickly rose from the table to see Mrs Kitan in her glory looking as gorgeous as always. The confidence and glory she’d always seen on the woman seemed to have disappeared when the woman’s eyes settled on hers. Two days ago, Lara had sent her packing. She had expected the woman to come on behalf of both her children. Well, she had no say on the situation anymore.
“Good morning Nimi…” Her gaze travelled to her mum and she smiled at the woman. “Mrs Adeyemi…”
“Welcome. Would you care for something to drink? We have tonic water and…”
“I’m fine, thank you.” She cut in briefly but politely. “I came to have a word with your daughter. Do you mind if you excuse us?”
“Sure, of course.” Nimi watched her mum manage a polite smile and leave with Tolani. When they settled on the couch, the woman watched her closely and she didn’t have enough courage to stare back at the woman.
“I need one explanation Nimi and I would like you to be honest with me. Is there anything my son did for him to deserve this from you?”
Nimi swallowed. If Lara could not understand, how would Mrs Kitan understand? Couldn’t Dapo explain things to her and make things easy for her?
“Dapo didn’t do anything ma. I-“
“God told you to leave.” She spat and Nimi looked up. She saw the bitterness in the woman’s eyes and she grew scared. “Yes, Lara told me everything. Trust your beau, he won’t say anything but keep trying to make things look okay when it’s not.”
She kept quiet folding and unfolding her hands.
“Can you hear yourself speak? I’m trying to imagine how you even sleep at night when you came into our lives to bring us hope and took it away from us. You saw love and you throw it away, you saw wealth and you threw it in my face, you saw friendship and you gave it all up because some ‘God’ you can’t see is asking you to…”
A tear fell.
“Let me ask you something young woman…, can your God love you the way my son chose to? Can he give you pleasure the way my son will? Can he give you kids? Can he hold you in his arms at night and whisper words of love to you? Will he give you a good house to live in, good food and take you around the world the way my son has promised to? You better weigh your options well and be realistic. You have something sure and I’m here to ask you to reconsider. Many women will beg and die to be in your shoes and here you are acting like a spoilt child—“
“That’s enough Mrs Olakitan.” Nimi turned to see her mother who had walked in on them. Her vision was blurry due to the tears but she reached to wipe them away as her mother stepped out to defend her.
Mrs Kitan fumed. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with…”
“Yes I do.” Her mother fired back. “I welcomed you into my home because your son is a lovely and respectable young man and loves Nimi with his heart. I allowed you in because Nimi loves Dapo and that girl was crying through last night because she was battling between her will and God’s will for a man she loves and I gave you a chance because I felt it would do Nimi good to see the woman who would have been her mother-in-law. But madam, don’t come into my home and insult my child. Yes, you have the whole world, you have billions you’re willing to squander on all who bow at your feet, but my daughter has chosen to follow God who is the maker of heaven and earth, the one to whom we will all give account to on the last day. Just because she chose to follow God doesn’t mean she’s stupid or spoilt. If your millions was enough, why did Lara need Nimi when she needed a pyschiatrist? You loved her as long as things were going fine but as soon as she chose to obey God, she became a bad person in your eyes and your daughter threw her out of your house. My daughter is brave and kind and loving. That girl came into your life caring for your daughter and your son and yet you come here insulting her and making her cry. She’s cried enough, so if you will kindly stop insulting her and let her choose the path set before her. I won’t have you saying another word against her.”
Mrs Kitan could not say a word as she stared at Nimi’s mum. Looking back at Nimi, she saw she was crying and swallowed. Not knowing what to do, she stood up and picked her bag. It was obvious the woman had insulted her ego.
“I’ll be taking my leave.”
And she was gone.
The house remained quiet for a while and no one could say anything. Tolani and Nimi stared at their mother wondering where the boldness had come from.
As if reading their mind, she replied. “I think God was the one working through me because I don’t understand what just happened.”
Both sisters laughed and went to hug their mother, crying and laughing together.
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Four weeks after Nimi left, Dapo was miserable and sought for comfort other than God and His word. He felt as if God had betrayed him and didn’t feel like having any conversation with God. There was nothing he could say. Even his friends he had told asked about it but he just told them things were not working out and they had parted ways. Sports that he had not participated in a long time came back to him and he indulged because he was scared that if he stayed at home alone with his thoughts, he would go crazy and won’t stop fantasizing on what could have been between himself and Nimi.
If everything had gone as planned, it wouldn’t be long before she was in his home, just two of them alone loving each other. He’d often imagined her in his kitchen admiring her and she pulling him to join her in cooking. They laughing and throwing things at each other and kissing her till desire burned in her eyes for him the way his burned for hers.
But he was going to be alone once again. Years he’d waited and he felt like he was being taken for a fool.
He was angry, he was upset and God’s silence after that night enraged him more. Yes, he’d gone ahead to propose without leading, they’d been carried away, but did that give Him any right to take her away from him? He wasn’t arguing the fact that she was God’s own first, but he just didn’t understand the whole drama God was putting him through.
He knew wild parties, alcohol and sex were things of his past that he couldn’t remember indulging in but for a while now, he’d been craving things he craved before Christ. He needed somewhere to release but one side of him held him back.
He wondered how Nimi was doing at the moment. Was she even thinking about him, about them or she was just an obedient child unlike him who was still finding it hard to accept what was left of their supposed life together. He wanted to call her, even if it was just to hear her voice but he remembered how she’d begged him that she didn’t want him to call so as not to weaken her resolve. He’d promised her as she pleaded with tears and hugged him for the last time that day.
He hadn’t hugged her back but stared ahead pushing her away when she lingered. He knew she wanted him to hug her one last time, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept their fate. If God wanted her, then there was nothing he could do about it.
Afterall, He was God and did as he pleased.
He still went to church, but his mind was far away. He went because he wanted to fulfill all for righteousness sake. Besides, Arike was also checking up on him and he didn’t want her preaching to him about God’s goodness. IK was on his tail too.
It was Friday and he stared at the paperwork on his desk. His work slightly suffered but he kept on, releasing some parts of himself into it while craving more satisfaction. His phone rang and wondering who it was, he picked it.
“Hello handsome…”
He recognized the voice immediately and the blood that rushed through his veins at the sultry voice made him sit up.
“Toke?”
She chuckled. Even that was enough to send thrills through him.
“Wow, so you still recognise my voice. I thought you wouldn’t after how many years apart.., 10 years?”
“Well…uh, there’s something they say about exes.” He could see his old habits flowing through his words but he threw caution to the wind. Maybe she was the release he needed. “They never come out of your system.”
“Ohh, I see. Never heard of that.” She chuckled again. “How have you been?”
“So-so.”
“Aww, what happened to my baby boy?”
“It’s something I wouldn’t like to talk about.” He sighed rubbing his throbbing temples at the thought of Nimi and God. He needed to get those two out of his system.
“Mum told me about your fiance when I arrived in Lagos a few days ago. I’m sorry love. I was contemplating if it was okay to call you but I…”
“I’m glad you called Toke.”
He could hear her smile over the phone. “I’ve missed you Dapo. Remember those nights we couldn’t keep our hands off each other? I can make you forget about your ex-fiancé in one moment.”
Oh he knew she could and she was quite blunt about it. Toke had always been that way, boasting about her sexual prowess. It was one of the reasons they had broken up in the past. He’d felt they were both compatible then, especially in the bedroom but with time, he knew he wanted more than that.
Maybe she was what he needed. The woman he needed to forget the pain and seek satisfaction in her arms while it lasts.
But for how long?
“So, I was thinking, it’s Friday and my friend is holding a party on the Island which starts by 9. We could have a few drinks, dance, and make out a little. You were always the great dancer with hands in the right places.”
She brought back clear, obscene and vivid images of their time together and he couldn’t help but indulge a little.
“Send me the address.”
And she gave him all the details of the club the two of them would be visiting together.
Original story by ITUNU TAIWO owner of http://myglowingscenes.com
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